Camelus for President in 2012!
Friends, nomads, countrymen, lend me your ears! I have an announcement to make. I, Camelus Bactrianus, am running for President.
My campaign team of social media experts, college dropouts and demographers is still working to hash out my platform. What I can tell you so far is that I will lead America with a two-humped approach to government: my administration will be based on the two things that make America great. Specifically: Pastafarianism and wieners.
Unfortunately, I can’t elaborate much more than that. However, suffice it to say that the Flying Spaghetti Monster has already been informed of my decision, and his noodly appendage is already at work, moving the strings in Washington to get enormous campaign contributions from large bloodsucking corporations and lobbies.
Photo by Sharon Mollerus, Creative Commons 2.0
Finally, I solemnly swear, as future President of the United States, that my wiener will make numerous appearances, both on the internet and on national television.
Let us all pray to His Noodlyness the Flying Spaghetti Monster for a brutal, wiener-laden campaign, ending with total national hegemony in the hoofs of this noble even-toed ungulate, the one, the only Camelus Bactrianus.
Camelus in 2012!