Simplify, Motherfuckers!

Quick Tip for a Better Society: Beat your Kids!

Many times, minimalism is about reviving lost arts. About doing things the way our grandparents did, back in the days before consumerism, self-help and the culture of instant gratification.

One of the important skills that we’ve lost in modern society is the ability to give a good ass-whuppin to those snot-nosed little shits whose college educations we’ll someday have to pay for.

I mean our kids, of course. Since those bygone days of Ancient Greece, people have been outraged at the ill manners of youth. It was Socrates, or perhaps Aristophane, who said: 

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

Unfortunately, the situation has been getting steadily worse, every generation since Socrates. Gone are the days when children quivered in fear at the sight of Dad unbuckling his belt (or his toga, as the case may be).

In fact, the one generation in all human history that most deserves to get the snot beaten out of them is this current one. By which I mean everyone younger than me. Those goddamn millenials!

Just look at 3 examples of people younger than me: Mark Zuckerberg, Lady Gaga, and Mary Kate and Ashley Olson (technically two people, but who really gives a fuck?) Have you ever seen such a bunch of degenerates? 

Now compare those three (or four) with some good, upstanding members of other generations: Dick Cheney (the Silent Generation), Glenn Beck (Baby Boomer), and Jesse Helms (the Greatest Generation). Now those dudes are real Americans.

Who is to blame for this generational degeneration? Dr Benjamin Spock, the liberal media, and the educational establishment, all of whom are more interested in boosting children’s self esteem than socializing them for the hard knocks that real life is going to give them.

Here’s a wake-up call for all you whiners: self-esteem doesn’t pay the rent, and it sure as hell doesn’t prepare you for long decades of menial jobs in customer service.

If anything, kids today have too much self-esteem. What they need is someone to give them a bloody nose and let them know where they really stand: in the shit at the bottom of society’s latrine, with old folks (and camels) like me pooping on them all day long.

So let’s slap those boys and girls into the next century, shall we?

Yours,

Camelus.